Introduction
When a child tells an adult that they have been harmed, the quality of the response they receive in that moment can determine whether they ever tell anyone again. Research on child sexual abuse disclosure found that fewer survivors than expected described receiving a trauma-informed, relational response when they first disclosed; many described being met with disbelief, distress or procedural responses that felt more concerned with institutional protection than with their own safety and dignity.
> Source: ScienceDirect (2025), 'Practices and responses that help or > hinder disclosures of child sexual abuse: Perspectives from victim > survivors and practitioners'.
For school staff, the moment of disclosure is not simply a procedural trigger. It is a human encounter of profound significance, in which the child's trust, courage and wellbeing are all in play simultaneously. Getting it right requires knowledge, preparation and the kind of calm, grounded relational presence that is best developed through training, reflection and institutional support.
This article sets out what the evidence and statutory guidance say about how to receive a disclosure, what to do in the moments immediately following and how to ensure that the child is supported throughout the process that follows.
Understanding Disclosure as a Process
Research published in Child and Youth Care Forum (2024) found that disclosure should be understood as a process rather than a single event. Children rarely disclose in a complete, linear, fully articulated account. They may hint before they speak directly. They may retract after they have disclosed, particularly if the response they receive is not what they needed. They may return to a concern over days or weeks, adding detail incrementally as trust deepens.
> Source: Springer Nature, Child and Youth Care Forum (2024), 'What > Helps Children and Young People to Disclose their Experience of Sexual > Abuse: A Systematic Scoping Review'.
This process-based understanding has significant implications for how schools respond. A single conversation with a child who makes a partial or tentative disclosure is not the end of the professional's responsibility. The relationship must be maintained, the concern must be documented and the child must continue to feel that they are being heard and believed.
The Five Principles: Receive, Reassure, React, Record, Support
KCSIE and recognised best practice in safeguarding articulate a framework for receiving disclosures that can be summarised in five principles. These are not a mechanical checklist; they are an integrated relational approach that must be held together simultaneously.
1. Receive
Listen with genuine attentiveness. Allow the child to speak at their own pace, in their own words and without interruption. Do not complete their sentences or suggest what might have happened. Avoid the kind of impatience or distraction that communicates, however subtly, that their disclosure is an inconvenience or an administrative event. What the child is doing is extraordinarily difficult; receiving it well is the least the adult can offer.
Accept what the child says. This does not mean accepting it as proven; it means accepting that the child believes it to be true and treating it with the seriousness it deserves. Do not express doubt, challenge the child's account or ask questions that suggest scepticism. A question such as 'Are you sure about that?' or 'That doesn't sound like something he would do' communicates disbelief and can silence the child.
2. Reassure
Stay calm. The child is watching the adult's emotional response very carefully and will calibrate their own sense of the situation accordingly. If the adult appears shocked, distressed or overwhelmed, the child may retract in order to protect the adult, or may conclude that what has happened is so terrible that it cannot be talked about further.
Reassure the child that they have done the right thing in telling you. Acknowledge how difficult it must have been to speak and how courageous they have been. Try to alleviate any feelings of guilt or shame the child expresses, making clear that what has happened is not their fault. Do not make promises of confidentiality; the child should be told, honestly but kindly, that you will need to share what they have told you with the person in school whose job it is to keep children safe.
3. React
React only to the extent necessary to establish whether a referral to the DSL is required. This means asking open, non-leading questions where clarification is genuinely needed. The TED framework (Tell me, Explain to me, Describe to me) provides a useful structure: it encourages the child to speak in their own words without being led. Closed questions, and in particular leading questions that suggest a specific answer, are not appropriate at this stage and can compromise any subsequent investigation.
Do not attempt to conduct an investigation. The member of staff receiving the disclosure is not there to gather evidence or to establish the full facts. They are there to listen, to receive and to refer. The moment the disclosure shifts from receiving to investigating, the professional has stepped outside their role in a way that may harm both the child and the integrity of any statutory process that follows.
Do not criticise or express strong negative opinions about the alleged perpetrator in front of the child, however difficult this may be. Do not ask the child to repeat everything to another member of staff. Explain what you will do next and to whom you will speak.
4. Record
Make brief contemporaneous notes as soon as possible after the conversation, writing them up in full on the school's confidential cause for concern form as soon as practicable. Do not destroy your original notes. Records should include the date, time and location of the conversation, a description of any visible non-verbal behaviour and the exact words used by the child, in quotation marks.
Recording must be objective and factual. Write what you saw and heard, not what you believe it means. A record that states 'child appeared distressed and said her stepfather hits her with a belt' is appropriate. A record that states 'child has been physically abused by her stepfather' is not: it is an interpretive conclusion that the staff member is not qualified to reach in isolation. The distinction matters legally and professionally. Records may be used in subsequent child protection investigations, disciplinary proceedings or court proceedings, and their integrity must be protected from the outset.
> Do not destroy original notes. Even rough notes made during or > immediately after a disclosure may constitute important evidence. Keep > them, date them and attach them to the formal record.
5. Support
Continue to support the child after the disclosure. The conversation that leads to a referral is not the end of the adult's relational responsibility. The child has placed considerable trust in the adult who received their disclosure and will be watching to see whether that trust was justified. If the child subsequently sees that the adult is behaving differently towards them, avoiding them or appearing anxious, this will communicate that the disclosure has caused harm rather than helped.
The adult who has received a disclosure should also seek support for themselves. Receiving a disclosure of serious harm is emotionally demanding, and the safeguarding team has a responsibility to provide debrief and support for staff who have been placed in that position. This is not weakness; it is the institutional recognition that vicarious trauma is real and that staff who are themselves unsupported are less able to support children.
Confidentiality: What Staff Must Know
A child or young person may ask the member of staff receiving their disclosure to keep it confidential. This request must never be honoured. Staff must never promise confidentiality in response to a safeguarding concern, because their duty to refer the concern to the DSL overrides any commitment they might make to the child in the moment.
The key is how this is communicated. 'I can't keep this secret' is a very different message from 'What you've told me is really important, and because I want you to be safe, I need to share it with \[DSL's name\], whose job it is to make sure children are protected. I'll only tell the people who need to know, and I'll make sure you're looked after.' The second approach respects the child's feelings while being honest about the professional obligation.
Under UK GDPR and the Data Protection Act 2018, information relating to a child's welfare can be shared without consent where there is a lawful basis for doing so, including where it is necessary to protect the vital interests of the child. Schools should share safeguarding information only with those who need it for the purpose of protecting the child, and should store it securely, separately from educational records.
Where a child or young person who has reported sexual violence asks the school not to share the information, the DSL must balance this request carefully against the child's safety and the safety of others. The basic safeguarding principle applies: if a child is at risk of significant harm, a referral should be made regardless of consent. Cases of rape, assault by penetration or sexual assault should always be referred to the police.
When to Contact Parents
A common question amongst staff is whether they should contact parents when a child makes a disclosure. The answer depends entirely on the nature of the concern and the identity of the alleged perpetrator. Where the alleged perpetrator is a parent or carer, or where there is reason to believe that parental contact would put the child at greater risk, parents should not be contacted before advice has been sought from the DSL or from children's social care. Contact with a perpetrator who has advance warning that a disclosure has been made can allow them to destroy evidence, pressure the child to retract or take action to protect themselves at the child's expense.
The default position should always be to consult the DSL before any contact with parents, rather than to act independently.
The Trauma-Informed Approach to Disclosure
A systematic review of trauma-informed approaches in schools found evidence that trauma training improves teacher-student interactions, decreases educator stress and reduces disciplinary incidents that teachers are ill-equipped to handle. Schools that have invested in trauma-informed professional development are significantly better placed to receive disclosures in ways that are experienced by children as supportive rather than retraumatising.
> Source: PMC (2021), 'A critical review of empirical support for > trauma-informed approaches in schools'.
A trauma-informed approach to disclosure is not simply a set of techniques. It is an orientation that begins before any specific disclosure occurs, with the daily relational quality of how adults engage with children. Children who feel genuinely known, respected and cared for by the adults in their school are more likely to disclose. Adults who genuinely know and care for their students are better able to notice when something is wrong, respond proportionately when something is disclosed and maintain the relational continuity that supports recovery.
Conclusion
Receiving a disclosure well is one of the most important things a school staff member can ever do. It is not a complex procedure to be followed under pressure; it is a human response to a child's trust that requires knowledge, preparation and genuine care. Schools that invest in training, that build cultures where disclosure feels safe, and that support staff who carry the emotional weight of this work, are schools that genuinely protect children.
The moment a child decides to tell, they are taking an enormous risk. The quality of the response they receive determines whether that risk was worth taking.
References: KCSIE 2025 | ScienceDirect (2025), Practices and Responses That Help or Hinder Disclosures | Springer Nature, Child and Youth Care Forum (2024) | UK GDPR / Data Protection Act 2018 | PMC (2021), Trauma-Informed Approaches in Schools